Ever since I decided to be a homemaker, quitting my job. My friends and family keeps inquiring why I took such steps. Well had obviously more than one reason to do so. I was working in an IT firm. My day started as early as 5:45am (too much for me). Then rush for daily chores, run for company transport and reach office by 8:30 pushing away traffic as much as possible. Phew! Finally I reach office. Office day starts with meetings, presentations or running through N number of lines of codes. Many of those lines were written years back and are needed to update with current scenario. Still I loved it at that time. Life tried to move fast and I leaped faster. Trying to assure client work done on schedule and pull up my sleeves to perform each time better. Meanwhile I extended my family, now my free bird life was gone; still it was nice to have someone help you at household chores and ask about the day as I say off now.
I can’t remember when but I guess it was a slow process when I realized I was no more passionate about my work. When I discussed with co-workers and friends of same field many felt same as me, most excused it as a monotonous job. But I was not ready to accept the fact that the work, which I used to adore, can become dull soon. My anxiety aroused more when I discovered I haven’t seen and felt sunset for a long time. In weekends day starts late, by the time it’s evening on Saturdays either its a party or dinner pre-planned or friends reunion and on Sundays my long face expresses good time over now work, work, work! Even though I was literally independent but I felt chained. I wanted back my feel and thirst to achieve a dream, to try my best to get the reward and now my dreams has fainted.
It was time to paint a new dream, but even after thinking really hard and long my canvas was untouched. So, now I want to introspect why can’t I get a clear thought? The conclusion was pretty shocking for me. I came across a fact that I haven’t done many things I always loved to do for a long time. I have converted from a dreamer and achiever to some to can’t dream and try, who just want to wait stupidly for Friday evening, who now want to shop unwanted items to create a fake me. I was not real anymore. I lost me while trying to earn respect in others eyes and slipped out of my own glass world.
It’s always better to try then regret at deathbed for never trying. And I quit my job to re-discover me.
It might feel weird to most of readers, but I want to give me one more chance, am recreating the magic of life with the power of now.
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